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To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse.
By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Ryan (RD): What year did you sign up with an online dating website and how long did you keep your account? RD: What were the majority of messages that you received from guys like? I got some commenting on my picture telling me how “hot” I was…how “good” I looked.
We became good friends first and we only started dating 2 years later.
That was mostly because I transferred schools, but because we became friends first, we had a connection that drew us back together for a chance at something more.
Those messages made me run far, far away from online dating.
In hindsight, I suppose if I had stayed active with it for a little longer MAYBE I would have encountered a “nice” guy.
Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry. Part of me thinks that they’re just so overwhelmed with messages from so many guys that they just pick the few that strike them as the “best” and just ignore the rest. It’s weird to me because if I didn’t normally have girls asking me out in real life, or showing that they are attracted to me, I’d probably start to develop a complex or something.
RD: If there are guys looking to actually get the attention of a girl on these dating sites, do you have any advice for them? AW: We lived across the hall from each other our first year of university.
What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons.
Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person – you’d probably have 4 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night. All they have to do is get online every day, sitting on their princess throne and file through the dozens or more profiles of men who have messaged them throughout the day.
I am getting terribly uncomfortable just thinking about it.
RD: Did you get ANY messages from guys that seemed nice at all? AW: No, but the creepy messages most likely ruined it for any decent guys that might be around.
That was one of the main reasons I called it quits.