Internet dating sad
I explained what courtship was and quoted Joshua Harris, chapter and verse. “I don’t think courtship is a smart idea,” my grandfather said.“How can you tell who you want to marry if you aren’t going out on dates? I ignored their advice on relationships, preferring to listen to the young people around me who were passionate advocates of courtship.But here are the elements most conservative communities have in common: My grandmother grew up in a marginally Christian community.People went to church on Sunday, but that was the extent of their religious activity.Visits and comments poured in from all over the country about how to make courtship work and why it did not work. I’m talking the kind of couples who first kissed at their wedding were filing for divorce. The deal was that if we put up with the rules and awkwardness of courtship now we could avoid the pain of divorce later.Each year I waited for courtship to start working and for my homeschool friends to start getting married. The whole point of courtship was to have a happy marriage, not a high divorce rate.It seems that my great grandparents’ rule forbidding my grandmother from going out with the same guy twice in a row was a common rule in those days.The Greatest Generation was encouraged to date and discouraged from going steady while in middle school.
She had predicted the failure of courtship back in the 90s and I wanted to understand how and why. After 20 years there still is no general consensus as to what courtship is.
So what on earth were they doing that worked so well?
Over dinner, my grandmother shared her story about what dating was like back in the 30s and 40s.
She went on to explain that there used to be a linguistic differentiation between “dating” and “going steady”.
“Going steady” meant you were going out with the same person multiple times in a row.
This meant that by the time she was 17 years old she knew which Bob she wanted to marry.